Fall 2013

Today was the last day of my semester.

That means one more semester left until I am thrown out into the real world.

My mom told me to not worry yet, but of course....

I am worried.

I am anxious about getting a job.

I am doing an internship right now and I am loving it so much.

I hope that I can be hired on there, but you never know.

Other than that I am happy the semester is over. 

I spend the day running errands and wrapping Christmas presents.

I am so ready for Christmas! 

I love the Holidays.

I love the Spirit of Christ that is so pronounced this time of year!

Take every chance you get to serve others. 

Enjoy the season!

Funny Things

I had just finished doing the dishes and asked J, "Now what should I do?"

J is working on tons of homework and I had none to do.

J suggests reading, watching a movie, crocheting, etc.

I look at my phone and I got an email so I read it.

It is from someone I don't know but the first line says,

"Dear Sister W., The Lord needs you to do family search indexing...."

BOOM.

Got my answer of what I am supposed to be doing right now!

J and I laughed about it. 

Good times!

Off to indexing...

Differences

Today I learned a valuable lesson.

J is different than me and as much as I wish he did everything my way,

 that isn't gonna happen!

I am the type who wants to get things done right away.

Once I am finished then I can relax.

J is they type that likes to relax a little, get things done, and then relax again.

Both are effective and get what needs to be done, done.

We are different and that is ok!

A Quote to Share

Everything Is Alright!

I just wanted to post that everything is going well. 

I am doing so much better!

My parents are having the time of their lives, B is behaving like an angel,

and my driving anxiety is reducing which is great!

I have an appointment to meet with a therapist tomorrow and I am really excited.

There are some things I need to work through. 

It will be great.
Today was a wonderful day. 

I love my family.

I love my husband.

I love my Heavenly Father.

Life is good.

ANXIETY

Yesterday was bad. 

I cried for most of the day.

We made it to church, but I had to leave early.

Social anxiety hit me hard yesterday.
I didn't want to talk to anyone. 

All I wanted to do was sit in my bed and cry.

My parents are going out of town for two weeks.

I always cry when they leave.

I start to worry they are going to die. 

Then I think about all the things that would happen if they died,

 and what would happen to me...

 and my brother...

 and my family.

It overwhelms me. 

J kept saying to take it one step at a time.

He's right.

I was so angry with him at the time because to me he didn't understand.

He doesn't know what it is like to be in my brain.

I can hardly explain it myself.

He is so patient with me and loving and kind and I repay him with anger.

When I am in the moment that is all I can think about.

I feel so bad.

We went to a friend's house, one I've been to a bunch of times.

I couldn't get out of the car. 

I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone.

It was nothing personal... my brain just couldn't handle it.

I tried to get out of the car 3 times and couldn't.

We sat there for 20 minutes.

All the while, J being as patient and loving as can be, 

ready to turn around and go home to do what is best for me.

In the end I put on my brave face and went in.

I ended up having a good time.

I felt better.

I love J.

Boo....

This is not a Halloween Boo, 

this is a "Boo to homework".

I am starting to actually write my thesis now and it is rough stuff. 

Just trying to start is what gets me. 

Ergo... I don't do anything.

My professor keeps saying, "You can't revise a blank paper"

Which is WAY true.

But I can't get past the blank page. 

I know I just need to start. 

The sooner I start the sooner I am done.

also....

If I start on this now I won't have to work on it over Thanksgiving Break. 

That would be lovely.

I guess I'll work on it tomorrow....

hahah.

But really, I will.