Fall 2013

Today was the last day of my semester.

That means one more semester left until I am thrown out into the real world.

My mom told me to not worry yet, but of course....

I am worried.

I am anxious about getting a job.

I am doing an internship right now and I am loving it so much.

I hope that I can be hired on there, but you never know.

Other than that I am happy the semester is over. 

I spend the day running errands and wrapping Christmas presents.

I am so ready for Christmas! 

I love the Holidays.

I love the Spirit of Christ that is so pronounced this time of year!

Take every chance you get to serve others. 

Enjoy the season!

Funny Things

I had just finished doing the dishes and asked J, "Now what should I do?"

J is working on tons of homework and I had none to do.

J suggests reading, watching a movie, crocheting, etc.

I look at my phone and I got an email so I read it.

It is from someone I don't know but the first line says,

"Dear Sister W., The Lord needs you to do family search indexing...."

BOOM.

Got my answer of what I am supposed to be doing right now!

J and I laughed about it. 

Good times!

Off to indexing...

Differences

Today I learned a valuable lesson.

J is different than me and as much as I wish he did everything my way,

 that isn't gonna happen!

I am the type who wants to get things done right away.

Once I am finished then I can relax.

J is they type that likes to relax a little, get things done, and then relax again.

Both are effective and get what needs to be done, done.

We are different and that is ok!

A Quote to Share

Everything Is Alright!

I just wanted to post that everything is going well. 

I am doing so much better!

My parents are having the time of their lives, B is behaving like an angel,

and my driving anxiety is reducing which is great!

I have an appointment to meet with a therapist tomorrow and I am really excited.

There are some things I need to work through. 

It will be great.
Today was a wonderful day. 

I love my family.

I love my husband.

I love my Heavenly Father.

Life is good.

ANXIETY

Yesterday was bad. 

I cried for most of the day.

We made it to church, but I had to leave early.

Social anxiety hit me hard yesterday.
I didn't want to talk to anyone. 

All I wanted to do was sit in my bed and cry.

My parents are going out of town for two weeks.

I always cry when they leave.

I start to worry they are going to die. 

Then I think about all the things that would happen if they died,

 and what would happen to me...

 and my brother...

 and my family.

It overwhelms me. 

J kept saying to take it one step at a time.

He's right.

I was so angry with him at the time because to me he didn't understand.

He doesn't know what it is like to be in my brain.

I can hardly explain it myself.

He is so patient with me and loving and kind and I repay him with anger.

When I am in the moment that is all I can think about.

I feel so bad.

We went to a friend's house, one I've been to a bunch of times.

I couldn't get out of the car. 

I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone.

It was nothing personal... my brain just couldn't handle it.

I tried to get out of the car 3 times and couldn't.

We sat there for 20 minutes.

All the while, J being as patient and loving as can be, 

ready to turn around and go home to do what is best for me.

In the end I put on my brave face and went in.

I ended up having a good time.

I felt better.

I love J.

Boo....

This is not a Halloween Boo, 

this is a "Boo to homework".

I am starting to actually write my thesis now and it is rough stuff. 

Just trying to start is what gets me. 

Ergo... I don't do anything.

My professor keeps saying, "You can't revise a blank paper"

Which is WAY true.

But I can't get past the blank page. 

I know I just need to start. 

The sooner I start the sooner I am done.

also....

If I start on this now I won't have to work on it over Thanksgiving Break. 

That would be lovely.

I guess I'll work on it tomorrow....

hahah.

But really, I will.

Joyful Music!

Check out this fun song and awesome video! 

My new song obsession...

J

Today's post is dedicated to my fantastic husband. 

I love him more than I know how to explain. 

He is perfect for me. 

J and I have so much fun together.

We love to chat about anything and everything.

One of my favorite conversations we had most recently was analyzing the "50 states, 50 sandwiches" and why we thought the sandwich was right or wrong for the state. (Like we even have a clue!)

We love to watch food network or other cooking shows so we think we are food critics.

Basically we are nerds that think we are awesome, and we love to laugh! 

Sometimes J will say something that makes me laugh so hard I start to cry.

I can't stop laughing for a while and then J will start to laugh. 

We love to watch shows together and talk about them.

Like I said before, we love to chat. 

When we spend time together we just like to chill and talk.

We just love each other, so when we get to spend time together (and aren't doing homework) we just like to relax and chat. 

Boy is he handsome!

Everyone always tells me "Oh! your husbands blue eyes! Don't you just want to dive into them?"

To be honest, it wasn't his eyes that first caught my attention.

Don't get me wrong! he does have beautiful, big, blue eyes, but it was his smile that first got me!

When he smiles I melt inside. 

His whole face lights up and the smile takes over.

Genuine happiness.

Lucky for me, he smiles a lot! Which means....

My insides do a whole lot of melting!

I love the way J does his hair and what kind of clothes he wears.

He has these blue, orange, and white basketball shorts that make him look so good!

I can hardly stand it!

Not to mention!!! I love the way he smells. 

Truthfully... I was in the middle of a sentence and caught a whiff of his delicious scent and it made me forget what I was saying. 

I know, I am silly, but he smells divine!

I love that J is easy going. I knew that I needed that in a man because I prefer to run the show.

J and I work perfectly together. 

J usually lets me choose what we are going to do - which I really like, but if J has an opinion he voices it and lets me know what he thinks - which I also like.

We are a perfect team.

Although J lets me decide most things we are always unanimous.

We like to work together and agree upon everything.

When we have kids we want to be sure that we work together and make decisions,

 even simple decisions, together. 

We don't want our kids to ask mom one question because they know dad won't say yes. It happens all the time, but we want our children to know we are united.

Now.... We don't have kids yet, so we will see what really happens!

I can't wait to see J be a daddy.

He is so adorable with kids, and kids love him to pieces.

It will be so much fun to watch him be a dad. 

J honors his priesthood.

He has taught me so much about the gospel of Jesus Christ 

and has helped me to grow so much in this past year.

J is such a great example to me of Faith. His testimony never waivers. 

His strength gives me strength.

I know God saved J for me, and He knew that J was the man I needed to help me get through life. 

He trusts in his relationship with the Lord and lives by it everyday.

--------------

Loving you J is easy. 

I can't imagine my life without you in it.

Thank you for dreaming big, chasing your dreams and teaching me that it is okay to do the same.

Thank you for calming my mind and keeping me on track.

Thank you for loving me with all your heart.

You have changed me for the better.

Thank you for taking care of me and providing for us. 

I never worry about us because I know you will do whatever it takes.

You are the most amazing man. 

My heart swells thinking about you and my whole body is happy.

You are wonderful! 

I love you J!!

It's A Beautiful Life!

Things have been so happy and lovely lately.

The weather is beautiful and school is great!

I now have more time to spend with my husband. 

OH how I love him!

I don't have much to say but I just wanted to post a few pictures from our recent events. 

J's birthday!!! 23! 

Hanging with his buds from Chile!

Playing with adorable puppies!

And this is to remind us all of how handsome my husband is! 

I'm a lucky girl!

Life is Crazy

I haven't posted for awhile since school started because I haven't had the time.

If I am not doing homework then I am sleeping, going to the bathroom, or on the move. 

Even then I am constantly thinking.
I haven't quite figured out how to turn my brain off. 

But I am sitting in my school library on the 5th floor

WAAAAY above the people outside walking in and out of the building

and watching how they react to the in and outs of rain. 

The rain comes down really hard in spurts and then stops for a bit and then pours again. 

It has been like this for the last little while.
Some people wait for the lull and walk out to their cars.

Some people run to their cars.

Some people just walk with no hurried pace, not seeming to care if they get wet or not.

I am thankful I do not have to make that decision right now.

I just get to sit in the warmth of the library watching these people. 

The rain falls so hard on the roof that sometimes it sounds like thunder. 

It is that weird kind of rain where there aren't clouds above your head and the sun is shining and yet there is so much rain falling.

Life is an interesting thing. 

It is beautiful.

I am happy to be apart of it all!

Priesthood Power

Every year I get a blessing from my dad to start the school year.

I remembered this week that I still hadn't gotten one yet.

I was going home over the weekend and figured I would just ask him if he could do it then.

......

It then dawned on me that I have a husband that holds the same Priesthood that my dad does, and that he could give me a "start of school" blessing.

I asked him if he would and he said of course!

Today I received the blessing and I felt such peace, confidence, and faith. 

I know that whatever happens this school year that it will all be alright.
My Heavenly Father is watching over me, and always will be.

Not to mention I have a wonderful husband who helped me through today and led me along. 

I am so blessed and I can't even begin to express enough thanks.

The Priesthood is real.

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

5 ways I saw the Lord's hand in my life today:

1. My husband knew what to say and when to say it when I was feeling upset.

2. Validated me in knowing that I am not the only one that feels the way that I do.

3. Received a Priesthood blessing stating everything I needed to hear to help me to calm down and be confident instead of fearful.

4. Drove home safely without any problems.

5. Happened to turn on the TV to the BYU channel and watched a devotional about prayer. Which was an answer to a question/worry I've had in my heart for a while now.

The Lord loves me and He loves you too.

Food Obsession!

Lately, my husband and I have been watching food shows.

We love to watch them cook and create delicious food.

We have also become little critics which is funny because,

we may watch people cook on tv but we don't taste what they make on tv! 

hahahaha!

But we love it!

We just finished watching "Food Network Star"

We really enjoyed it. We thought the show was classy, fun, intense, and delicious looking!

We fell in love with the contestants and were rooting for them.

We would sit down to watch an episode with a bowl of ice cream and proceed to critique them like we knew at all what we were talking about! But it sure was fun!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Our next and newest favorite it MasterChef with Gordon Ramsey, Graham Elliot, and Joe Bastianich. 

This was just introduced to us earlier this month and we have caught up with the current season 

by watching it on Hulu. We love it! It is very different from Food Network Star because 

the hopeful chefs on this show are all home cooks - meaning none of them cook professionally. 

The most shocking part of this show to me is that Gordon Ramsey is one of the nice judges....

Who would've thought??

_________________________________________________________________________________

 Our other favorite - or maybe mine more so than J's - is Cupcake Wars!

It is so interesting because creativity is part of their challenges so sometimes you end up with strange cupcakes. Most of the time they work out!

(Like a pickle cupcake with peanut butter frosting, sounds gross but the judges loved!)

It can get a little crazy there! After we watch this show we always want cupcakes.

A friend of mine got married last week and at her reception was cupcakes - cupcake war style.

J and I were thrilled!!! We ate three between the two of us. YUM!!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Finally, I had my own attempt at being a chef. 

I cook all the time, but J has been craving soft pretzels...

So being the loving wife that I am made them for him one day while he was at work!

He loved them - and so did I! 

They were delicious and we are going to make them again ASAP!!!

ANYWAYS!!

If you haven't watched any of these shows, but are a "foody" as they say...

I would definitely suggest checking these out!

In A World Like This....

This is the most excellent thing!!! I love BSB!!!

Changes...

I've been meaning to post for a long time now. 

Sometimes I think of great things to say and I want to post them, but by the time I get around to it I am too tired. haha. So.... I just don't post it. But now I am mad because I wish I would have.

Oh well.

My final school year starts in 19 days. It is bittersweet. I never thought I'd reach the day that school was over. But it is coming, and coming fast. I'm starting an internship and have to wear professional clothes....AHHH!!!

I've never had to do that before so I am nervous. I went shopping with my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law last weekend and found some cute things. So I am feeling ok about it. A few days ago I had a meeting at my new place of employment and was wearing a nice blouse, dress pants, flats, and a classy purse. I felt like such a phony. I am a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops kind of girl. I told myself that this is who I am professionally so that I need to act like it. I was fulfilling the motto, "fake it 'til you make it" if you will. 

The meeting went well and I am really excited for it all!

Also..

The fact that I could be a mother is getting closer and closer than ever before. As excited as I am it is freaking me out. I don't know how to be a mother.... Lucky for me I have many amazing examples to help teach me and aid me in my mothering process. It will be great! There are so many great things coming my way!

I Choose You

I know I just posted lyrics to a song, but I just recently found this one and I am in love with it. I love the message, the lyrics, the music - everything. It is beautiful.

I Choose You - Sara Bareilles

Let the bough break, let it come down: Crash.

Let the sun fade out to a dark sky.

I can't say I'd even notice it was absent,

Cause I could live by the light in your eyes.

I unfold before you

What I've strung together

The very first words, of a life-long love letter.

Tell the world that we finally got it all right.

I choose you.

I will become yours and you will become mine.

I choose you.

I choose you.

There was a time when I would have believed them.

If they told me you could not come true,

just love's illusion.

But then you found me...

And everything changed!

And I believe in something again.

My whole heart,

is yours forever.

This is a beautiful start to a life-long love letter.

Tell the world that we finally got it all right.

I choose you.

I will become yours and you will become mine.

I choose you,

I choose you.

We are not perfect,

 we'll learn from our mistakes,

and as long as it takes I will prove me love to you.

I am not scared of the elements.

I'm under prepared, but I am willing.

And even better....

I get to be the other half of you.

Tell the world that we finally got it all right!

I choose you.

I will become yours and you will become mine.

I choose you.

I choose you

I choose......

you.

I think this song is so beautiful and it tells a lovely story about a girl who is ready and willing to give everything she has and everything she knows to the one she loves. She wants to shout it to the world.  She finally got it right this time! 

I love the line where it says, "Even better... I get to be the other half of you." It makes me smile. She feels so lucky to be spending forever with the one she loves and can't wait to be their other half. She'll knows she can get through anything because they will be together. 

This song helps me realize how lucky and blessed I am to have married the man that I married. He is wonderful. I can't even explain how it feels to love someone so deeply. I am glad I am his other half. 

Anyways! This is my new song obsession.

 

I choose you!

Then..

This song keeps playing over and over in my mind. I love it!

I remember trying not to stare

The night that I first met you

You had me mezmorized

And three weeks later

In the front porch light

Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight

I hadn't told you yet

I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life

Now you're my whole world

I just can't believe

The way I feel about you girl

Like a river meets the sea

Stronger than its ever been

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

I remember taking you back

To right where I first met you

You were so surprised

There were people around

But I didn't care

I got down on one knee right there

And once again

I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life

Now you're my whole world

I just can't believe

The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea

Stronger than its ever been

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

And I thought I love you then....

I had no clue I could love J more today than I did the day we got married! It is incredible!

Spiritually Edified...

I wanted to do this as soon as I got home from church....but I didn't of course.

It was fast Sunday so I was distracted by my hunger pains.

Not to mention, my husband wanted to watch these new movies we got.

One was called, "Only a Stonecutter" and the other was called "Treasure in Heaven".
If you haven't seen either of these I highly recommend them!
Anyways....
Today at church I was spiritually uplifted and edified in a way that I haven't been for awhile.
It was incredible. The Spirit was so strong throughout the entire block of meetings.
I was constantly covered in chills.
The lessons, testimonies, and thoughts that were shared were ones that resonated deep in my heart. I could feel the power and strength from the people in my ward. I admire all the women in my ward so much. They are such examples to me of what it takes to be a dedicated wife and mother even when life throws you cure balls. I was touched in my heart and it is something that I will remember forever.
I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I am who I am because of what the gospel has taught me.
I am able to be happy through trials because I know that there is a plan for me.

We are just one piece of the giant puzzle that God has created for his children. We are never forgotten because without us the puzzle will never be completed. Isn't is incredible to be a part of something bigger than this world? It is inspiring to me.

Keep an eternal perspective in all things and it will help you to maintain happiness and keep you grounded.
The church is true. I know that without a doubt!
I am grateful for the all blessings that my Heavenly Father has given to me.
Especially for the man he sent to me to be sealed to.
I can't imagine life without him.
Heavenly Father knows what he is doing!

Be Still My Beating Heart

My Husband just read me one of his journal entries from a few days after

we got engaged. It was so cute. I am so glad that he read it to me.

He isn't one to blab on and on about how he feels and so this was a huge moment

for us. He wrote "I am not one for details, but I know she makes me happy every single

 second I am with her!"

Could you cry??

I adore him with all my heart. I can't imagine life without him.

The last 6 (almost!!) months have been fantastic and I wouldn't trade them for anything. 

I can't wait to see what our future holds. 

I love you J!!

Cuteness!!

Today coming out of church there was this cute couple ahead of me.

She had recently broken her leg and was in a wheel chair and her husband helps

her around and pushes her chair and what not. 

Today is a beautiful, warm day and so upon coming outside the husband says:

"Would you be mad at me if I took you for a walk around the block?"

The wife responded with:

"This block? Why would I be mad? I love walks!"

and so the husband proceeded to push her for a small walk around the block. 

As I witnessed this small moment in their lives my heart was filled with joy.

I saw how much they loved each other.

I continued to walk home and was smiling from ear to ear.

Even in this corrupted world there is still beauty, love, and happiness.

Jr. High

I was thinking back today about Junior High and I randomly remembered a certain boy. He was different from everyone else. He wasn't what you would call "normal" in Junior High standards. I'm sure he got made fun of for being who he was and wearing what he wore. I am sure the kids at my school didn't make it easy for him. Then again Junior High isn't easy for anyone...

Although it must have been hard on some days for him I never remember seeing him shut down, close off, or change who he was. He was who he was and he owned it. He didn't let anyone else tell him how he should act or what he should wear. He was a happy, nice, and fun kid who had confidence in himself. I admire that so much. At the time I was too naive and wrapped up in being cool to realize this, but today I gave it some serious thought. 

Thank you boy from Junior High for being a shining example for me today of how to be yourself and not let it tear you down just because others may not agree with it!

My World :)

I am happy!

And not just a "today was a good day" happy, 

but more like "I am living the life I have always dreamed of" happy.

It is perfect!

Yes there are hard time, low times, cry times, stressful times.

But I am still happy!! :)

I have one very awesome best friend that helps me through it all.

Today he said to me, "I don't know what I'd do without you!"

Truthfully......

It is me that wouldn't know what to do without him.

He has helped me to grow up, face my fears, and live to enjoy life. 

What else could be better?

I also have more to live for now. 

There is nothing like being responsible for the smile on that cute boy's face! 

Life is a dream come true and I am a happy happy girl!

16 Days

I've decided to go off my anxiety medication. It has been 16 days since I last took my medication.

It has been a ROLLER COASTER.

At first my anxiety was held under wraps and it was just my body going through withdrawls from the medication itself. That wasn't really that fun. 

I was dizzy, had "brain zaps", and couldn't sleep that well. 

Every now and then I would have brief moments of anxiety and freak out for a minute. 

I was able to get it under control. Now my body is getting more used to being without the drug 

so the withdrawls are not as bad as before. I still get dizzy at times and sleeping through the night has still been difficult. My mind is constantly going and going. I've been trying to do what I can to redirect my mind onto other things.

The thing that is most shocking my system is raw emotion. I didn't remember what that feels like and I am having a hard time keeping it under control. 

I'll cry at the drop of a hat. One day a I woke up crying, cried at noon, and cried again when I went to bed. 

so...... I have done a lot of crying. This is what I was like just prior to going on the medication. That scares me a little bit, but I have been taught techniques to stop by irrational thinking so I know that I can handle this. 

One tool that I have now that I didn't have before was my husband.

I have never met someone so patient and loving.
When I have my anxious moments he just holds me, listens to me, and tells me it is going to be ok.

He helps me to realize what I need to do to help myself overcome this anxiety 

and how to be a better person.

He is such a fabulous example to me of happiness and forgiveness. He is able to let go and move on when handed a difficult situation. He thinks rationally and helps me to see other sides of the story. 

I am so grateful to have him in my life. He teaches me something new everyday. 

He encourages me to be better and works with me on my goals. 

He constantly reminds me that the gospel is in my life and the Heavenly Father is there to guide me and help me through whatever I am going through. Whenever I say, "I just don't know what to do anymore", J always says, "Well you could pray about it." And I know that I can but sometimes I forget and J always brings me back down. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Long story short... I've been off my meds for 16 days. 

Yes it is hard, but I am doing well considering that I haven't feel like this in 4 and 1/2 years.

I have learned so much in this process and I will continue to learn as it carries throughout my life.

I am so thankful I have the Lord on my side. He is always there to give me the push that I need.

I couldn't do this without him. Or J for that matter. 

Life Is Wonderful!

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking and I came across a few things:

1. My little sister - T - is one of the most loving people I know. I have never met someone who forgives more than she does. She hasn't always had the easiest time in life and has a hard time with friends, but she accepts people for who they are, loves them, and forgives them when they hurt her. She is always there for them and is so loyal. She is such an example to me of this Christ-like behavior. I haven't always treated her the way she deserves, but as I have grown older I have been able to see T for who she really is. She genuinely loves people, helping, being a friend, and having fun. Another think I admire about her is that she has no inhibitions. She loves herself and accepts the way she is. Not many people can say that about themselves. My little sister is one of a kind and I am so grateful I get to be her big sister and to watch her as she succeeds in her life! She is going to do great things!

2. I'm really baby hungry. It probably doesn't help that all of the women/families in the neighborhood are pregnant, just had babies, or already have kids. They are so cute and so fun. I know that J and I just got married and I still want to spend time with him to get to know him more. We are only 22 for heaven's sake! But I do know that we will have babies soon-ish. I graduate in a year and then we'll see what happens from there. Of course it is all in the Lord's hands. He is in charge and He will tell us what He wants us to do. But just as a little preview for you all! This is my husband as a baby:

and this is me as a baby:

I know.....

We are going to have cute children! No wonder I am so excited right? When the time is right it will happen and I know that. I'm excited to be a mom, but I am more excited to see J be a dad! He is so good with kids already. All the kids at church are drawn to him and he is so fun. Watching him be a daddy will be a wonderful thing!

3. I love my family. And I am not just talking about J and I. I am talking about my immediate family - the one I grew up in and the one I married into. Since I've been married I have realized the importance and permanence of the family unit. There is something special about family and the support system that they are. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family on both sides! My family is just starting to grow bigger as we are growing up and getting married, but J's family is already grown and is only getting bigger. J is the baby and so  I was the last spouse to come into the family and so now babies will be the only new additions. It is fantastic and I love it! How lucky am I that no matter what I will always have family to support me. 

Wades

 B & B

 In-Laws

 M

 The Parents!

 Panters

 Boys at Tough Mudder

 Wades

 Mr. and Mrs. Wade ( in 37 days!)

The Waites

 I am a blessed girl and I am so happy! I am so glad I married J. He is my best friend and someone I rely on dearly. He is with me through thick and thin. He is wonderful. I love him more than anything - more than I know how to explain. 

I love being married!

Yesterday I had the best time with my boy! We just talked and I told him things that I've never told anyone before. It is incredible how much I trust him and rely on him. He is my rock! I love having my best friend so close to me all the time and being able to spend every moment together. When we first were married I thought that I loved him so much, but as I look back on it today.... I love him so much more than I did then. I didn't think that was possible. I wish I had the words to explain it. I've tried so many times, but all I can say is it is incredible. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful man to spend forever with. I want everyone to feel this happiness!

Cool Pic Eh?

Oh What A Beautiful Morning!!

This weekend was the LDS General Conference.

I got to to go the conference center to see General Conference

for the very first time in my life!

The spirit was there so strong and when President Monson

walked in I got chills through out my entire body.

I know he is a Prophet of God without a doubt.

 He always has the greatest stories to tell. 

This conference he told a story about how he learned

the lesson of obedience.

It is fun to know that the Prophet of God was once a child too

who was mischievous and made mistakes.

It reminds me that we all are human and we all make mistakes.

President Monson

Adorable right??

I also got to spend the weekend with my husband, father-in-law, and mother-in-law.

It was fabulous. We had a great time!

So many laughs and good memories! The boys went to Priesthood meeting

so I spent the evening with my mother-in-law just chatting and watching 

the food network! I loved it!

I can't wait until we get to go visit them this summer!

Another special thing about this particular conference was that I 

had been praying for an answer of what to do with my life

and the answer came!! Heavenly Father is so mindful of me and my life.

He let me know through the talks given at conference what I needed to do.

It was up to me to listen.

The answer to my prayer was so subtle that I had to piece it together.

Heavenly Father must know that I love puzzles!

I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth 

and I know that He lives. I know God lives. 

I know that Temples are a place of peace and happiness. 

There is not better place to be.

I am so grateful that families are forever.

I can't imagine Heaven being Heaven if I wasn't with my family.

The Lord loves you. 

I am already excited for Conference in October!

6 Months

6 months ago I agreed top marry the greatest man in the world! Three months ago I married him. It is the greatest decision I've ever made. I never knew I could be so happy! I love you J!!!!

Catch Up

So... I'm terrible at keeping up with this. 

But my life isn't too exciting! 

I am in the last few weeks of the semester, so I 

am trying to get everything done While I still have time.

This summer I am going to class too and working

part time like I am right now. 

Hopefully J will get a job too!! 

Love that boy!

Anyways,

all is well and things are great!

I currently am lounging about, procrastinating, 

and watching Lord of the Rings with my hubs!

It is one of our favorite things to do!

We are lame. hahah

But I love it. So much!!

Here are some recent pictures of us.

Blah....

I am not a fan of the way my

anxiety forces itself into my relationship with my husband.

It doesn't make things better.

I wish that I could just sort things out in my head.

.....gah.....

25 things about growing up with autism

This was a post from autismspeaks.org that fit so well with 

me and my family. I loved it so much that I had to share.

I can relate so well to what she is saying.

Enjoy!!

Growing up with a sibling on the spectrum is anything but typical - but isn't every growing up experience unique? Each of us looks at life through a different lense; mine just happens to be with an autism filter. 

So before I present to you my list about growing up with a sibling on the spectrum, let me offer you one of my favorite quotes,

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts… We live outside the touch of time." -Clara Ortega

1. You don't get angry or upset when your autistic brother points out the wrinkles on your face or the fact that your roots are showing and you need to get to a salon stat. If it was your other brother, than there'd be a problem.

2. You may move to a big city and live a 'groovy' lifestyle - rock on! But you will also have to return to your parents' house to snap back to reality. This can be done through taking walks, watching movies, or making giant ice cream sundaes with your brother.

3. You wonder how your mom and dad hold the family together all the while praying you can be half the parents they are.

4. When you are a little girl you’ll play budget because you went to so many meetings as a kid, hanging out under conference tables with coloring books.

5. You'll never feel connected to another person in the way you are with your nuerotypical sibling. They are the only ones that know the walk you are walking. You may have different ways of coping and that’s okay, but you’ll have the utmost admiration for them. Hear that one Tommy?

6. It’s not shocking to you, but nevertheless, you are awe inspired by the compassion and generosity of your fellow siblings, no matter how young. A prime example is my gal pal Katie, the daughter of Jess fromDiary of a Mom, who worked to make the childrens' ICU cancer wing a little brighter in honor of her friend Tuck.

7. Fight. Get upset with each other. If you didn’t it would be weird! Just be sure that you make up – it’s not healthy to have that kind of tension in your life and there isn't anything truly worth being that angry over.

8. You'll think that you 'missed out' on some things during childhood, like trips to Disney or a Barbi Jeep, and it'll kill you that your parents feel any sort of guilt. The truth is though, you were given so much more... More than anyone will ever know.

9. The hope is though that you have friends like the Toal boys who’ll drive you around in their army jeep, even if they don't always share (Matt!)

10. You might meet some people in college who think your brother is a babe and beg to know when he'll come to party. Be prepared to laugh and tell them 'yes he's handsome but he probably won't party with you, and the conversation may be a bit strained.'

11. You’ll question how someone who doesn't have speech can be so loud.

12. That said, there's no greater sound that a genuine belly laugh from your sibling.

13. You’ll know that when you become a mother, you’ll go to battle for your kids. Hopefully you’ll find friends to fight the good fight and laugh A LOT along the way.

14. Going into arcades may dredge up bad memories. You'll learn to be the master of compartmentalizing.

15. There will be moments, many in fact, when you’ll be overcome with pride when you think back on how far your sibling has come.

16. When finding someone to spend the rest of your life with - be sure that they tell you regularly how lucky you are to come from the place that you did. They'll also respect the relationship you have with your family and know that if they sign on with you, it's with the whole kooky bunch.

17. Birthdays are anything but typical. You’ll get used to your brother holding his ears anytime he hears the ‘happy birthday song,’ but still make everyone sing it twice.

18. You don't mind singing in public. Even if it means holding hands and singing 'we are family; Mommy, Tommy, Daddy, Ali, and Jeffery' or the 'Cruella Deville' theme song.

19. You think people who don't know someone like Jeff is missing out. Jeff makes people better simply by being himself.

20. You will come to define ‘family’ loosely as the people that are there for you and truly understand you will have no blood relation. Those people are the ones that will do holidays and vacations with you (Kyle and Conor), the ones that will gather at Erin Lane to share in our brothers’ group home for decades to come, and the tall Irish ones that come for tea.

21. From time to time you'll allow your parents to baby you as an adult because you did have to grow up faster than most. (Dad I'll pay you for my cellphone next month!)

22. When playing sports you will look forward to seeing your sibling sitting in a lawn chair on the sideline. You will also get some hives when they start making noise during the silence of a penalty shot.

23. Both home and car insurance are vital. You learn this after your sibling goes through a stretch of kicking out windshields because of frustration or when they accidentally drive through the garage. Thanks AllState!

24.Talking about autism can be tricky, but work to get comfortable with it. My parents encouraged us to, mostly by example. They are educators sharing their experiences to not only my oldest brother Tom and I, but to the thousands of kids they taught and coached along the way. Anyone that knows my parents, can tell you that they ‘walk the walk and talk the talk.’ It’s no mystery to anyone that family is their priority. Luckily, it rubbed off on me.

25. You may not ever want to have a career in autism, heck it's all you've known, but never stop advocating for your loved ones. Jeff has made my life so much richer - I owe it to him to do the same.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2013/02/12/25-things-about-growing-autism-sibling-redux?utm_source=social-media&utm_medium=text-link&utm_campaign=espeaks