Easter Weekend

It has been such a great weekend!
I moved home.
I had a flashlight easter egg hunt with my family.
Visited with old friends.
Saw family that had moved away.
Saw family that hasn't moved away.
Slept in a big bed.
Had my last day of work with the guys.
I will miss them but it is right.
I watched one of my very close friends be so happy.
She is getting ready to be married.
She graduated from college.
And I got to celebrate the Resurrection of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I owe him everything in my life.
Because of Him I am here right now.
His gospel is  my life.
I love because He showed me how.

This weekend has been wonderful and I am so glad that
I have been able to spend it with those that I hold so dear.
I am so happy. <3

Party In The U.S.A.

Today was a reunion day with my roommates from last year!! It was so much fun. It seriously was like we had spent no time apart. We all get along so well. It was seriously so much fun! We went to wingers and ate dinner and talked and reminisced and such. We laughed so hard, not to mention we were so loud, everyone around us was probably so annoyed with us. Oh well..... we did warn them when we came in. There were 6 of us. Let's see....

Amber: Ambs was the mom of the apartment you could say. She already graduated from college and is an elementary school teacher. She loves the jazz and basketball in general. She is a skinny bean pole and as funny as they come!
Rosey:  Ro is very athletic. She loves music. She is very innocent, and it works for her. I actually admire that about her. She goes to BYU and works as a grounds keeper, sort of like Hagrid. She says things that she doesn't realize are funny and that makes them that much funnier!
Jamie: Pumps is a very interesting sort. You never quite know what you are going to get from her. But that makes it so much fun. She has a beautiful singing voice and can harmonize with just about anyone. She is very athletic and plays every sport and is good at it.
Amy: Is a ton of fun. She loves to party and dance and sing and dance and eat and dance and laugh. She loves to watch movies and to listen to music. Getting ready is one of her favorite things to do. She is quite a crack up, and not to mention BEAUTIFUL.
Missy: Missy is the smart one of the bunch. If you have a question you ask her. She loves Michael Jackson and thinks she is bad at dancing but she isn't. She is very easy to talk to and is tons of fun to hang out with. She and I have gotten really close and are still roommates this year! I love her!

APARTMENT 13 FOREVER AND ALWAYS

Classic Skating 80's Style

Color Festival

In the fort we built!!

Ward Basketball Night

Midnight Christmas Party at Denny's

Pyramid! Tonight After Dinner!

Jumping Picture!

Thank Heavens For Love

Today was a hard day for me. Things have been going well lately.

I made new friends, and reunited with old ones.

I stayed on top of my homework. And ate some delicious food.

And then today i had a rough day. Panic Attack extraordinare.

Luckily I am blessed with people that love me. 

There are always people to help.

I was at church when the attack came. (The background for this one is complicated and not easily explainable.)

A girl in my ward noticed I was down and passed me the sweetest note.

She just told me that she loved me and that she was here for me. I was touched. 

Definitely teared up. 

I gave her a hug after class and everything. She told me to call her later.

How sweet?

Today I also learned that I have a strong relationship with my Heavenly Father. 

I don't have to rely on other people to help my mind to get made up.

If I ask for something the Lord will give me an answer.

Not my friends.

Not my mom.

Me.

I think that is amazing. The Lord is a part of my life if I let Him in. 

And I learned today that I can have my own relationship with my Father in Heaven and I don't need

to rely on someone else to tell me what I should do. 

It was great. I had such a peaceful feeling come over me today. I knew everything was going to be 

ok. I knew that I had to be happy. I honestly couldn't not be happy. I tried. 

Failed.

So there is my answer. Everything is ok. Everything will be ok. I just have to keep trying 

my best. And then good things will come my way. I LOVE THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST!!!

17 days

There 17 more days until I move home for the summer and I honestly can't wait. I am here dog sitting and it is making me so ready to just move home! So I can't even wait! I just wanted to write a little bit about what I love about being home! (in no particular order)

1. The toilet paper is so soft
2. I don't have to cook my own food or buy it
3. Harlee (she is my dog)
4. The close freeway access
5. The City
6.The view from the window in the front room
7. The mountains (I know there are mountains in Provo but....these ones are in my back yard!)
8. The tall shower head
9. My family is here
10. My little brother's movie collection
11. The washer and dryer (not to mention it is free)
12. The movie theater technology
13. A big bed
14. My own room (no offense to my roommate right now... I just like having my own room)
15. I don't have to drive that much when I am here because my work is RIGHT by my house...not two cities away like it is right now!
16. My best friend
17. My couch isn't holey and/or broken
18. I don't have to pay rent
19. The people here are so different from the people in Provo. Everyone here is so outdoorsy and so liberal. It is a nice change every once and a while.
20. Directv

Alls I can say is I am so STOKED to come home. I could have made a list that went on forever and ever. But I thought I would spare you with this list of 20. Oh and here is a picture of my family!

Rugby On The Weekends

So I am at my parents house all alone dog sitting
and there is Rugby on. I watched my first Rugby
game last weekend and so I suppose I will start a
trend. Maybe not. It is too soon to tell.
I am anxious today. There is a lot on my mind. And
I don't like being in charge of the house all by myself.
There is so much to do, yet nothing to do at all.
My dear sweet brother left all of his stuff in my room.
I have asked him so many times to clean it up, as well
as my mom.. but he hasn't. So I have been packing up
all of his stuff in boxes while he is gone for the weekend.
Hopefully he doesn't hate me when he gets back.
Technically there is no point to this post just the fact that I
have no one to talk to and I have some things to say. Dogs
are great and all but I feel really silly talking to them. Even
if no one reads this I was able to get it out and it will be
gone. So there you have it. The dogs want to go to bed
I best go tuck them in.

Night.

...Unrequited Love...

"They say bad things happen for a reason,

but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding.

Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving,

and when a heart breaks no it don't break even."

----------------------------------------

So I love this boy.

and when I say love, I mean it.

Head over heels, would do anything for him.

Some call him my best friend.

Him included.

He sees nothing romantic between us

 and I don't think he ever will.

We met almost 1 and 1/2 years ago. 

We didn't hit it off right from the start though.

I hung around with his roommate and that is how I met him.

Eventually he and I started hanging out just the two of us.

We spent A LOT of time together.

I told him everything and he told me tons as well.

I trust his word more than almost anyone else.

Through all this time we spent together I fell in love. 

And no matter how much I want the feelings to be returned

....I know it will never happen

We just don't fit that way.

We have talked about it and I know he isn't "the one"

So why can't I move on?

-------------------------------------

He has become this driving force in my life.

I will do anything and drop anyone to spend time with him.

It isn't right.

Yes he is my friend, best friend, but I can't give him

my complete and devoted attention.

He doesn't deserve it.

I should only give my entire heart away to someone who wants it.

So...

I decided to cut him out.

Leave.

I deleted his number from my phone

I stopped making excuses for me to go over to his apartment.

I stopped talking to him.

He needed to miss me so that he would realize what I meant to him.

At least that was the plan.

------------------------------------

I barely hear from him.

Shocker.

He isn't exactly the type to work for relationships.

I am doing pretty good with it all.

I have days every now and then when I want to give in.

It is easier that way.. to have him in my life than out. 

But I can't. 

He has had more of my life and my time 

than I should have given him.

Love isn't fair.

It hurts.

Bad.

And I am left with a broken heart

 and one less friend.

Giving up doesn't always

 mean you are weak; 

sometimes it means that you 

are strong enough to let go. 

 ~Author Unknown